While I stand by my statements about this woman being a total idiot, etc., and the fact that I dont think anyone was calling him scum for having sex with someone after he broke up with his girlfriend, I will say that I agree with the idea that its unfair for guys that they have no say in keeping or aborting but will be on the hook for child support even if they wanted the mother to have an abortion. It can pick up cells from a previous ejaculation, but peeing flushes them off. But still a good thing to have. nurserie cerise et capucine we broke up and he got another girl pregnant.If your ex got married only months after the breakup, then something doesn't feel right.In most cases with my clients, the girl is wanting the guy . Why is he such a scummy, awful human being because hes angry with the way this has worked out that hell be on the hook for another human being until who knows when? I actually work in a field that deals with this, and let me tell you, the women who are actually applying for court ordered child support will be lucky to get $400 a month. His girlfriend got pregnant, they got engaged, realized they didnt work as a couple, they decided it was in the best interest of the child if he was not a part of her life in any way, shape, or form, and so he signed some legal documents waiving all parental rights to the child, which absolved him of any responsibility to provide child support. If the person who carried the child to term (woman) wants to turn the kid over to adoptive parents to care for it, then the responsibilitys on them. Documents were drawn up by said lawyers. April 9, 2012, 12:23 pm. My Boyfriend Got Another Woman Pregnant & It Changed My Views On Parenthood. You have to be mature and know what is best for you. His anger is unwarranted unless its directed at himself. Actually no. Solved. Merely that it is an immense expense for the man for a situation that he didnt want a situation which, as I said, the woman is never forced to endure. Although I cant decide if shes purely a straight-up C.U.N.T. If he doesnt own up to his part in creating a child, sorry, I think hes a jerk. Any woman who cant see the pleasure in such a sacrifice is too selfish to be in a relationship. What exactly would your perfect laws look like in regard to custody and child support anyway? Chuck(le) April 10, 2012, 7:00 pm, If you dont want to potentially end up with a kid with a woman you cant stand, dont have sex with her.. Yeah, Im with you, pretty much on all counts. Im waiting for the moral and mental gymnastics that say its OK to force a man to spend 18 years paying to provide a good life for the result of his error in judgement, but its not OK to force a woman to spend nine months working to simply give life to the result of her error in judgement. These two ideas cannot be simultaneously true. Out of my 5 closest friends only one isnt a fan. We're doing great but after a month, he confessed he got this girl pregnant. Because thats really not that old. Maybe because she wants a tie to the LWs boyfriend. If you dont like someone (as a fellow human being), dont have sex with them. If youre going to have casual sex, there are some things you can leave to the goodwill of others and some where youve gotta be a little bit proactive. SpaceySteph Im an okder Dude but thats what we used to do. Good times. His ex had gone through a lot of internal as well as external strugglesand became stronger and wiser. Hes not obligated to be there emotionally, especially if he made it clear to the woman that he did not want this baby in the first place. But I have no tolerance for the ones who cry foul after the fact when it hasnt gone their way. You were on a break, not even completely seperated from the relationship, and he clearly has some space in that undying love for you to have unprotected sex with a stranger. We still cant quite manage partheogenesis or budding. LW, what happens if YOU get pregnant? First, if you cant live without someone, why did you need a break? April 12, 2012, 2:47 am. Offset Changes Instagram Avatar to Takeoff Photo After His Death. You are acting like child support is some sort of lottery win for the woman it is court ordered money that is to go towards the care of your child. WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM, LW? evanscr05 Male victims being forced to pay child support, while extremely rare, I agree is sad and unfair to those boys. LW: When I started reading this letter I was prepared to tell you to MOA, but by the end I decided that you and your boyfriend sound like equally shitty people! Has a great job. April 10, 2012, 5:35 pm. April 9, 2012, 10:04 pm. LW, why are you directing all of your anger at this other woman? Mmmhmm, I thought so. Iwannatalktosampson That woman, Kaihla Rettinger, gave birth to the model-turned-Midtown South cop's son on Nov. 5, Radar reported three days after McLoughlin, 27, met Lambert, 35, while she was performing on . Malarky. Hes probably the worlds most prolific internet commenter. Any advice on this would be appreciated as Im so confused and hurt. Its wrong and its not fair, and thats what should be changed, not the fact that a man who voluntarily engaged in activities that everyone knows could result in pregnancy can *gasp* be sued for child support for a kid he doesnt really want. Consider paring them down a bit. I kept waiting for someone to say this. I spoke with him a second time after many missed calls and he seemed really upset about his situation and begged me to talk to him. She experiences an allergic reaction and has to be rushed to the hospital. This does sound like a lot of cod wallop and baby malarky shenanigans to me as well. Regardless, this guy obviously doesnt seem like anyone you want to be in a relationship with. April 10, 2012, 9:46 pm. At the time, he said he would wait years for me - until he could be with me. He could be the a killer robot. I dont want to be too harsh on the LW because emotions are a messy messy thing and Im not at all eloquent when Im upset. Sue Jones I have been trying to have a rational conversation with people unfamiliar with reason. Its not a crime to have unprotected sex, dangerous and irresponsible, but not a crime. My opinion is that we all know that it can happen whether youre on birth control or not. He also said he is furious with this women for wanting to keep the child, because they were only together for 2 minutes. It doesnt matter whether he wants to be with this woman or not, your boyfriend made half of this baby and has an obligation to be a father figure to it. Change the subject and attack is not debate and makes you look pathetic. When they were last together, he cheated on her many times and got another girl pregnant. Terrance Dean. Seven months later he tells you that while you were gone, and in order for him to get over you he met someone else and now shes pregnant. Is anyone else eagerly anticipating the update to this one? April 9, 2012, 10:34 pm. This is when we see rebound relationships. Not in the 50s or 60s and maybe not as late as the 80s but today the father gets joint custody. April 9, 2012, 5:08 pm. Thanks for noticing, though. landygirl If you are so against men having to pay for a child they dont want that was nonetheless created by their penis couldnt you make this issue a hell of a lot easier by just telling your male friends to wrap it up? This man in the letter has spent those same 25 years being an ever-aging manchild. She doesnt tell the waiter that she has a peanut allergy, because she assumes that simply ordering a dish without peanuts in it will protect her. Respect her decision. I think that the thing to keep in mind is that the angry ranters are really just a very vocal minority. While I realize that this is a stressful situation, your letter indicates that you will always harbor resentment for this child and this woman who will be in you and your boyfriends lives FOREVER. You can look at it like women are lucky- they can opt out at the last minute! Im not disagreeing with your assessment at all, however, I have to question you on thisdo you really believe that if it were possible to two men or two women to get pregnant that they never would and things like this would never happen just because they were heterosexual? That means from a mental, obvious, and circumstantial standpoint, the girl is at the disadvantage. I attempt to avoid name calling, but if you have a problem with one person ASKING another person to do or not do ANYTHING, you are a poor excuse for an adult! Now I also believe that the LW is exposing herself to STDs not this guy, because she knows that he had unprotected sex with another women, and she still chooses to be with him either way.
He has an obligation to any future sex partner to keep himself clean. And hopefully this childs mother will, too. She might not have been on the Pill, but that was a risk that he chose to take by having sex with someone he knew for two minutes without a condom. Just because hes willing to pay child support doesnt mean hes not a deadbeat and who would want to be with the kind of boy who would abandon his child. The rest of us enjoy it, I think people dont give the blow job enough credit. guys..youre not gonna get anywhere with this one. And do some growing up before you get involved with someone else. These are very common questions going through a guy's mind when he finds out his ex had a baby with someone else and now wants him back. Believe it or not, but a bedpartner with a scintillating personality is not a prerequisite for the male orgasm: its possible to have and enjoy sex with somebody who you nevertheless regard as entirely obnoxious and devoid of LTR potential. I just picture this LW with only tiny chunks of her brain left rattling around in her head as she sputters out this completely illogical rubbish (malarky). When you split up with someone, you SPLIT UP. There is a certain degree of sadness in all of this, yes, but Ive turned out far better than my friends whose fathers have been unable to make up their minds one way or another about parenthood. And, lo and behold, you arent coming across any better. April 9, 2012, 1:35 pm. And if so, Im ready. Men get a say in abortions? You have no opinion in this matter. Its a great idea, really, for someone who is unfit and probably on the verge of abuse or something else horrible. my boyfriend & i have been together for over 2 years (2y 5m to be exact) & i found out i was pregnant about a month ago & at the time i must've been maybe about 2-3 weeks pregnant. You are an entitled, awful, C.U.N.T for even THINKING that you have an opinion on what this woman does with her pregnancy. Theyre the exact same situation, but for some reason, hes scum. So yes, if she is trying to trap him, he should be furious at her. Because he had sex? Hes decided on what hes going to do, and it does not involve you. Id argue the country is not any better off for it, either. Once again its the way the LW and the bf (at least the way the LW is presenting his reactions) acted about the potential baby that are rubbing people the wrong way. Is it fair to a kid to be born into a world where his dad abandons him? Dont ever sleep with someone mean or stupid, because if you get pregnant, youre going to be tied to that person for the rest of your childs life. And I was like, Ewww, Mom, thats gross! But it was great advice, and Ive always followed it. That support is not hers. Then the unlikely happens. What should I do, View related questions:
April 9, 2012, 4:51 pm. He has an obligation to use condoms until he is in a committed relationship to prevent unwanted pregnancy and to prevent HIMSELF from contracting an STD (and thus spreading it around). At this point, its an easy thing to resolve this without decades of support and animosity. How does your law make this fair? -Got her pregnant Just sayin. Are you kidding? Is that fair to women? His utter failure to own up to his actions is appalling. According to this, then, a woman should have the choice of forcing the child, once born, onto the father, and then only paying child support for a couple of decades. Cold, but I suppose not unheard of. Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop(Atria Books June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books November 2010; $15). Yes, he could have done worse by refusing to pay child support and not wanting to be in the child s life or being an alcoholic abusive parent, or what have you. When two people opt to have not conceive by mistake but instead carry through to birth a child, they should be obligated to that child. Were also stuck with either A) experiencing an abortion or B) going through a pregnancy. Babies are malarky. Because she accidentally got pregnant with his child? Its a double standard. So while you were on a break he had unprotected sex with just her or other people too? 2. They dont want to have spirited logical debate, they want to vent and lash out at people. But the kid is coming, and if your BF is a decent guy, he *should* be there for his child (if he doesnt come around eventually, you may need to consider if hes someone worth being with). Now Im confused. You said it better, but I jumped back in before seeing your replies. You can have a relationship with someone with a child but you have to be ready for it. Steve Kellmeyer If you choose to roll those dice against any odds you have yourself to blame if they dont land in your favor. By nothing to do with their lifestyle choices do you mean never put it in her because I dont think we make men pay child support to women they have not had sex with. When I hit the ground, I jumped up, pulled the safety clip off the release assembly and slapped it. Problem. Fuck yes, he shouldnt have a choice in that. Sorry for any confusion! Its painfully obvious. My Spidey sense is tingling that this could be a fake. because it is the womans responsibility to take her pill on time, etc if thats the type of birth control shes chosen. I think the LW comes across as bitter and resentful and would rather blame the other woman, making her out to be the villain, than to admit that she and her ex really might not belong together. Stuff like this really grinds my gears. I havent, and even though I am 110% pro-choice, Im not sure if its something I could actually do. Theres nothing wrong with casual sex. The woman can choose to abort the baby, even in the event the father desperately wants it, and is willing to raise and support it himself. He wants to get back with the LW (again, apparently). Everyone needs to quit having sex and then saying they hate or cant stand that person. Also I take that because your boyfriend knew she was on the pill he didnt use a condom. Seriously, that is your interpretation of the male thought process? Honestly, why would you want to put yourself in a permanent relationship who a) has encouraged his baby mommy to abort the child for the sake of convenience and 2) who has sex with people he cannot stand? The only thing I can say that no one else has so far is, why would she want to trap this man?! And you cant have conception without sperm. Anyone would be angry in this situation. Thats not the point here. Some people are correct that the LWs anger is displaced. Hes scum all around in my book. 99 % of people would necessarily mean about 99 % of women. I also think that some LWs after reading the comments change there stories in the updates to try to save face though. April 10, 2012, 10:56 am, hes angry with the way this has worked out. Steve Kellmeyer This woman might very well be lying. Once you decide to have sex you are basically saying that you realize pregnancy is a possibility. A real man steps up to be there for the baby, more than just money for the baby, and to be there for the mother even if he cant stand her.
Heres how I interpreted it. So it sounds like the mom here mustve been in a postiion to want and/or raise a child. Hes signing up for sex, not fatherhood, and it is an egregious breach of the implied sexual contract for the woman to turn around and say, Whups, knocked up! This is so hard for me. Deadly, sure, but not highly infectious. April 9, 2012, 10:46 am, Im not even sure how to address this letter, so I guess step by step is a good way to go. I'm still contemplating because if my boyfriend finds out, I'm afraid he'll leave me. he was told that he could not have any children so i thought she wasnt his. I feel like life for me hasnt gotten better and Im tired. We started dateing again and have been for about 3 months and we have plans to save money and get an apartment. Hes responsible for the choices that brought him where he is now. CONSTANTLY. Or is she trying to get him to live up to his responsibilities (which he brought on himself when he had unprotected sex and got someone pregnant)? Changing the facts and then arguing them is just as useless as creating facts and arguing those whether you admit to it or not. Neither are the kids, but thats beside the point where feminism is concerned, right?, And dont worry, my sons will have the good sense to stay away from your daughters.. Whether this guy decides to be a part of this childs life or not is up to his conscience. Most women hate giving blowjobs, it seems. The good news is that yours are a little less awful. Ever. All I could think about when I read this letter was what an awful situation that child is going to be exposed to, through no fault of his/her own. Paternity laws in this country absolutely suck. After 7 months I moved back, but upon moving back he made a confession to me. And guess whatthe potential consequences came to life, quite literally for him. (Well assume she is pro life for non religious reasons because Im not sure why a religious person would be fine with banging after two minutes thats a whole other can of worms). Just something to think about. Its always just a hope. Bless your heart. Chuck Pelto There was a single picture of my ex-boyfriend, his then-girlfriend, and their first child. It only says he asked her to. Its Gone Downhill. When you have a child with someone you will have to deal with them FOREVER. Like if the guy is unconscious or doesnt know how babies are made? And water. Women this means the pill or condom or whatever. Shed be less of a real woman if she left the kid on its fathers doorstep and went off footloose and fancy-free while he was left to raise it all alone. and he is furious with this woman for keeping the baby after only knowing each other two minutes. Or, hey, maybe they were both tested, maybe they were both clean, and maybe he believed her, and maybe she actually was on the pill. It sounds glib, and I mean, malarky? August 24, 2019, 2:54 pm. Youre wrong. By clicking Subscribe Now, you agree to our, Find out why Dr. Sherry has this message for this scorned woman: You are being played with a capital "P!, The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages. It happens, no matter what precautions are taken, unless you opt out of sex. Its fucking unfair. I just feel sorry for the pregnant girl. Model Mustang. It was definitely his decision too. You shouldnt expect him to bow down and praise the woman. Heh, are you suuuuure you still want to be a professional therapist? Should you be frustrated at the situation? In a perfect, totally fair world, both men and women would get stuck with pregnancy and rearing of children because they both equally engage in the sex that results in the pregnancy.
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