Have you ever felt the Lord repeatedly put something on your heart but you haven’t followed through? You brush it aside for a myriad of reasons–life gets complicated, it just never feels like the right time, or perhaps, you believe your way is better.
That was me, friends. For years and years, God has been whispering to my soul to write a book. That whisper started less than a week after I confessed my affair and has continued throughout the thirteen years since.
But then life would happen. It never felt like the right time. We had a baby. Then we lost five babies. We did a church plant that went sideways and caused a ton of heartache. We had health issues and faced a ton of spiritual attacks. We had another baby. There was always something…
A couple of years ago we entered into a new season of the unknown and I thought perhaps this ministry of telling my story and encouraging others towards freedom and joy in Christ might become a reality. But even then, I went sideways thinking I had to provide for my family financially and the way to do that was to get my real estate license. Then, once I was a successful realtor, I would pursue this ministry in my “free time.” I know all you realtors out there are laughing at me :).
I wasn’t trusting the Lord to provide for me and my family. I tried to do it on my terms, in my way, with my own logic. Thankfully, God allowed me to have a rude wake-up call with my very first real estate deal. It was an off-market property that I was going to flip with my business coach. It would bring in enough cash for what we needed for the entire year (if all went to plan of course!) Needless to say, just days before Christmas this past year, it went sideways. We didn’t close the deal and I had taken some bad advice from this realtor/coach that could’ve landed me in hot water. All before I had even done just ONE real estate transaction!
I cried out to the Lord about this all blowing up in my face. This had been the answer and now, suddenly, it wasn’t. The response I received was tender yet very straightforward, “Real estate wasn’t my idea.”
Boom. There it was. I was running and pouring all my time and energy (and unfortunately money) into this thing that wasn’t at all what God had called me to do. I got a very clear picture of being a successful real estate agent and never being able to find the time or energy to do what I really wanted to do and ultimately, what God wanted me to do.
At Christmas, I shared this whole conundrum with my son who was eight at the time. I explained how I had chased something that wasn’t a part of God’s plan but now I was going to trust Him and do what He has called me to do. I explained the lyrics to the song, “There’s Nothing I Hold Onto” by Will Reagan and United Pursuit which state, “I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open.”
My sweet son quickly understood and said, “Yep, you can’t climb two mountains at the same time.” Such wise words and such an amazing picture of what I thought I could do. I was trying to climb two mountains at once. I would have to choose one. The one that God has called me to climb.
So, I finally let it all go. I decided to trust that God would provide for our family if I were to pursue this ministry. BUT, even then, I still went a little sideways. Man, God is so patient with us! I figured I needed to start a blog and build an audience and a platform, and THEN I would write the book. That’s how I learned that it should be done so that’s what I would do.
Well, after writing about 14 blog posts I realized that I didn’t want to have to come up with a new post every single week. And again, our patient, sweet God pressed upon me, “Write a book.” Seriously Brenna, just write the book! Stop substituting a million other things!
So, when I say I am FINALLY writing a book, I mean FINALLY. It’s about time. I am so excited to say that my new book, From Lover to Beloved – Rescue, Redemption, and Reconciliation to God After Committing Adultery, is currently being edited! We’re also working on book cover designs and developing a launch team to help spread the word. We plan to publish in November 2022.
With all my heart I just want this book to be an encouragement and a resource to those who have blown it so bad they have believed Satan’s lies that God would never take them back, that all is hopeless, and that this is just who they are.
So, if you are interested in staying in the loop and/or spreading the word, I’d love for you to join my launch team!
There are a few options as to how to get involved depending on your level of interest/availability, including just simply downloading the book for FREE on Amazon the first few days it’s available.
And this is bolder ask, but I have been working to raise money and sell things to help pay for the costs of self-publishing this book. If you are so moved to help this effort, you can give through the “buy me a cup of coffee” link :). Every little bit is such a huge blessing to get this work done! Thank you!
In Grace & Truth,
Brenna ❤
