husband drunk when i went into labor

I hope for the long term something or someone can get through to him so he can find a different way to relax. So this guy was supposed to NOT eat. That is almost word for word what happened to me.except that I didnt push mine outI had an emergency c-section, so I had to push a wheelchair very slowly down the hall to get to the nicu to nurse because I couldnt walk without support, and I couldnt make the wheelchair go on my own while sitting in it. I called and called and called him just to get that annoying beep saying he was already on the phone (with his brother) he would not answer my call. https://americanaddictioncenters.org/alcoholism-treatment/spouse, https://www.verywellmind.com/things-to-stop-if-you-love-an-alcoholic-67300, https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/alcohol, 5 effects of living with an alcoholic husband, Dealing with an alcoholic husband: 10 ways. We went to a friends wedding about 3 weeks ago and I asked him before hand not to drink and he did anyways and got pretty drunk. -Katie. If that isnt bad enough, he dropped my right leg DURING labor, to show my doctor the outfit my daughter would be wearing home! -- A pregnant doctor unexpectedly went into early labor while delivering another woman's child. My husband was behind me holding me up while I squatted when a nurse looked at him funny and said You dont look so hot. It wasn't until my midwife stripped the membranes at 41 weeks that I finally went into labor." 2.) 1. Take their thoughts and opinions into consideration before you make any decisions. One of the major issues that you, as the wife of an alcoholic husband, may face is awkward situations in public or family gatherings. Most nights he drinks to the point of stumbling, and not . I was only at the hospital for two hours before she arrived. When they called my room at 3 am to go nurse her, my husband declined to go with me because he was just so tired after everything that happened that day. I have always gone into labor in the evening so DH was home with me and it was my water breaking that made me go in. The love and support of your family can help you cope during this difficult time and give you the encouragement you need to get back on track. Look up the options available to you, enlisting help if you need backup, and have a hopeful, serious plan ready so there's no excuse for him to say no. yep, i paint with a broad ass brush. He finally comes back as I was about to go investigate (and by investigate, I mean cause bodily harm) and explained that he had food stuck in his teeth so he had been trying to floss it out!!!!!! Also, alcoholic parents have a higher incidence of raising alcoholic children. Have you thought about what your day-to-day lifewill be like? (Dont even ask about our planning ability! Glad she was there for you. After the haircut I assume we will be leaving for the hospital and then he informs me he needs to take a shower to get the hair off. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Get on the same page, then bring up how you are afraid alcohol could affect that. -Kirsti, My husband asked if he could borrow one of my pillows, because his back hurt and I had too many. NOW I have to remind him, when he rolls his eyes knowingly seeing movies where women scream in pain during labor, that it really IS realistic too, even if it was not what he observed! So I went about my day normally and really thought something was going on around 3pm. This, I really think that you need to convey how important it is to you and the baby, then make sure that he realizes how serious you are that you NEED a coach to help get you through this and if he is to drunk to do it then you will find someone else and he will be relegated to the waiting room. Pet Behavior. Want Mommy Shorts delivered daily or weekly to your inbox? Theyve been divorced almost 20 years and she still holds that one over him! Thank you! He normally goes to the pub every Friday, not too late. This, my friends, is truly a gift. SEARCH PARTIES. I agree not to do it when he's about to grab a drink because then he will just get irritated with you. He tried to Mapquest the directions while driving down the highway and almost killed us. Try to apeal to the protector in him and let him know how much you need him there. I dont want to deal with your stink and neither do the doctors and nurses! I still give him crap about it almost four years later now. I would also say that 5+ drinks make a person more than "buzzed." In order to do you, you might push your husband to loneliness, which eventually will lead to far more serious issues than now. I called my husband at work around 6 p.m. to let him know I was in labor with our first and he said hed be home to take me to the hospital as soon as he wrapped a few things up. When we finally got there and I was hooked up to all of the machines, he went downstairs and then returned with a whole pizza that he ate in front of me knowing that I couldnt eat because I was in active labor. This isnt going to happen. 1 Answer. My husband laid down on the couch in the hospital room, rolled over and fell asleep. Which is normally fine, but NOT when your in labor! 28 Examples of Crap Husbands Pull While Their Wives are in Labor. We got to the hospital at 5 pm. Im so fed up that I almost want a divorce. Nesting. I went home, took a shower, fed the cats, and came back a few hours later to strange looks from the nurses who cared for my baby while I was gone. Into the car it went. I know that if I tell him I am uncomfortable with the amount he is drinking then I know he would take me seriously. Laughing gas has been widely available for laboring women in other countries, and it's finally making its way to hospitals and . -RealMomofNJ, Mine kicked me out of the car in the ambulance bay 9cm dilated with my bag and left me to traipse across the hospital and up two flights of stairs on my own because he didnt want to pay for hospital parking. I'll talk to him tomorrow. It was her birthday and 12 days from her due date, her hubby had a few drinks and she went to the bathroom and her water broke. This. I was also in the middle of a contraction when he said that. My hubby has a habit of drinking a lot (over 5 drinks in an evening) after a rough day at work, and I'm worried I'll go into labor, and he'll be extremely buzzed. I complained to my husband at 3 am in the morning that I was experiencing a lot of sharp pain. to catch during the initial few meetings, but by the time you get to know about it, it is too late. Life with an alcoholic husband is tough. laughing gas has been used as a form of pain relief since the late 1900's, although you're more likely to see it at the dentist's office than a birth center. The birth of our child is not about him, it's about me and the baby. We finally make it to the hospital and Im left alone for quite a while and I find out why when he strolls into the room with his lunch of a turkey sandwich, clam chowder soup and soda and he says, dont worry honey, I didnt forget about you, here are your ice chips. He then proceeds to interview and film every nurse that enters the room and when it is time to film the labor, we were out of film, wonder why. If your husband is an alcoholic, make every effort to avoid situations that are triggers for drinking. My husband told me to breathe. Im sure there are a ton of great husbands/partners out there. Thanks! Since I had to have a c-section he stayed in the hospital with me the 3 days sleeping on the couch and changed ALL the diapers. You know, the stuff you still hold over his head. I felt bad,infact still feeling vexed, Mine did the same thing I had to send my pap out to go buy my undies, Thats why I called my girlfriend to go buy underwear for me, cant trust men with that. He then moved to the toilet to puke some more before I yelled at him that hed better get the hell out of there because I needed it NOW. I called him to come home and he suggested id feel better walking up and down the street. The tank was on empty so we stopped at the gas station. Just have a rational, heart to heart talk to him when he is not stressed out. My car, my car! he said with horror. Finally after I frantically run around the church for a few mins he calls back in which I tell him get all our pre packed bags and carseat ready to go Im on my way home she is in labor, we lived 4 hours from the birthmom. Creative Skirt reserves the right to use all submitted photos, After like 2 hours I called to have him tell me he didnt feel good so he was taking a nap, and that he was sure I could handle our daughter on my own. Or do you let fly in situ? The next contraction, I look over to see him asleep. Its amazing he still had the equipment to impregnate me one more time time!!!! I am not supporting buzz driving at all - but, it is amazing how much a woman in labor will sober up a man. When he stopped drinking for a month, we conceived right away. Frankly this scares me. In addition, you should also come up with a list of goals that you want to achieve as a couple once you are done with treatment so that you can lead a more productive and happy life together. My mom always tells the story of when she was in labor with my sister, on Thanksgiving Day, and somewhere around 20-so hours of labor my dad ate a full Thanksgiving dinner, turkey drumstick and all, right in front of her. When my contractions were less than 2mins apart, I told my husband we needed to leave. The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that, you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior. Dont come to me saying look what your child did. It is always our child. My hubby is a talker, too. On the way there, he takes a random left turn and lets me know he needs to stop at the ATM because he has no money. I gotta say my husband was good in the delivery room, but I have a whole piece written up about the birth of our 1st, which includes a lot more crap he pulled like hitting every pot hole on the way from out apt to the hospital in Midtown but its way longer than a blog post & when I tried to publish it no one was interested. Around 10 am he announces that he has to go home because the Popeyes he ate has given him food poisoning. My husband was beyond perfect. What Red Raspberry Leaf Tea can do: Strengthen and tone the uterus. I would talk to him on a day he doesn't work like people said, and maybe keep a taxi service on speed dial. He never got that chance. -Lucy, About 30 minutes after our son was born (a full 24 hours of labor) my husband told me he was going to head home for a bit because he was exhausted. I think you should talk with him about this (perhaps a counselor as well if talking to him alone won't work? I sincerely wish you luck this will not be an easy road, but I hope you both find the strength you need for the sake of your baby. -Anne, When the nurses asked how bad the pain was from 1-10 and I said 10, my husband said oh, come on it cant be that bad. This must help. Well, watched is a bit strong, but it was on the entire time! While at the hospital, my husband (then boyfriend), wasnt allowed into the theater with me, so he decided to go watch rugby at the pub. The *only* reason I left the room when she was in labor was to go to the bathroom. Michelle, My husband took a conference call on the way to the hospital. Put together a back-up plan now because none of this is acceptable (not his drinking, buzzed driving or your calling his parents to essentially tattle on him). . Go figure! Every year, nearly 9,000 women in the U.S. go into labor and, unable to make it to the hospital, have an unplanned or unattended birth at home or in the car on the way to the hospital. And please feel free to add your husbands own egregious efforts below. Needless to say, I snapped but couldnt yell at him in fear of waking up my sister (our babysitter) and our 2-year old. After threats, and having my parents call and force him to drive back. Once emergency responders had arrived and . Because, he was a little bit tired. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. The next morning, I rationally explained to him that if I would have gone into labor (I was 38 weeks at that point) I would not have allowed him into the l and d room. Im shaking because of the epidural so I get no sleep, and hes snoring and well fed. This post and the responses make me want to bash my head against a wall. I think I'm always stopping to prepare for the recipients reaction. After 26 hours of Oxytocin induced labour our son arrived and my hubby had the balls to say jokingly Well, at least we know hes hers! There was never any doubt about paternity, it was just his stupid sense of humour. Promote a quicker postpartum recovery. Hubby went home to get a good nights rest the night I got induced. Why do I remember the date so well? I was in labor half the night and at around 7 am I say to my hubby its time to go to the hospital. And yeahshe figured it out and got him out quickly after that, but he was deeply bruised and as a result had terrible jaundice, needing bili blankets through the fifth day and had muscular trauma in his neck that he needed therapy to correct for two years afterward. It can vary widely. I was so exhausted. All I could do at that point was laugh. The doc said that was waaaaay too much and really unhealthy. Living with an alcoholic husband requires a lot of patience, courage, and the support of people around. In labor with our second after my water broke at 6am. This is the best Ive got: Your DH's drinking is outside what is healthy, for him, for your relationship, and for your new family. We tackled more laundry. She re-positioned the monitor and the needle was off both sides of the page. Bern Morley. A man can metabolize 2 drinks a day. Someone who drinks 5 drinks a night to "unwind" after work and is defending that decision in the face of being incapacitated for their pregnant wife has a drinking problem. What else am I supposed to do?-Tina, In the delivery room, my husband went into hypoglycemic shock because he hadnt eaten in 48 hours. Call a sibling or a friend and have them be at the ready to bring you to the hospital on the off chance your husband decides to booze it up with his co-workers. Seriously, OP, the issues surrounding labour should be amongst the least of your concerns here. Suffer. I wanted him to leave so I could have peace! I am so thankful and blessed I dont have a story to share like this. Labor was a piece of cake until they broke my bag of waters. HELLO! I'm currently 38+2 days pregnant and expected to go into labour anytime as this is my 4th baby. You might also explain that it's his baby too, he may want to remember the event. 14 Things to Do With Kids in NYC When Its Super Cold Outside, The Mommy Shorts Guide to the East Village, The Mommy Shorts Guide to the Meatpacking District, 11 Sweet Places for a Kid-Friendly Dessert Date in NYC, Harlows Hip Hop Class is the Perfect Palette Cleanser to Last Nights Debate. When my DH was starting up his business last year we were going through huge financial stress he would often have 2-3 beer over a day. I didnt even realise I was annoyed about this, nor did I particularly want to be, but it just kind of snuck up on me. I would be wasted if I had 5 drinks. Indeed! Reach out to rescue them only when they seek out help. My husband and I were so excited that we jumped right into action. I stayed at home as long as I could (we live 5mins drive from the hospital). This happened to my friend. my parents always had a rule never to argue in front of me or my younger brother.. I waddle downstairs expecting everyone to be ready to leave and find them eating waffles and watching cartoons. I find it pretty fvcked up that you are okay with him drinking a "few drinks every night" since someone else can drive you to give birth to yours and HIS own child. I was panting when he turned and yelled at me why cant you get to four. The midwife explained it at the hospital as the baby was born less then 30 minutes later. It is also important to seek professional marriage counseling if you need help handling your marriage with a spouse trying to overcome addiction. husband drunk when i went into labor. The hospital was an easy drive. We keep quiet about it, yet are both so in tune with one another, we know exactly the minute something is up. My daughters dad (who fortunately I had the good sense never to marry) kept his distance from me the last month or so of my pregnancy, which probably is what kept me from delivering in prison, but he wanted to be at the hospital for the birth. And to all the posters making excuses: it doesn't matter if it's beer or liquor. I know you don't want to hear this, but you really need to read up on alcoholism. I have pictures to prove it. Yes, keep telling her that labor will sober him right up, and that he has to sit in the waiting room if he is buzzed, because that's totally the right answer. To help you more to understand, Is my husband an alcoholic?, listed below are also some pointers on how to live with an alcoholic husband. Copyright 2009-2023 Creative Skirt, LLC. My hubby has a habit of drinking a lot (over 5 drinks in an evening) after a rough day at work, and I'm worried I'll go into labor, and he'll be extremely buzzed. Of course, I ended up delivering at 230 AM and when I asked for something to eat, the doctor told me Id have to wait until the cafeteria opened. Many people who struggle with alcoholism are reluctant to accept treatment on their own. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with your spouse can help both of you cope with the emotional effects of recovering from addiction. Here are 10 ways of dealing with an alcoholic husband: Wondering how you should be dealing with an alcoholic husband? But he's probably young enough where that can all be avoided if he changes his patterns NOW. He is lucky I didnt kill him. , Thats awesome. Nausea and vomiting, diarrhea, and an overall feeling of being unwell. In the absence of a specific policy that the employee has agreed to abide by . I guess you were right. You think? I. Let's get right into it- the top ways to make labor come faster after losing your mucus plug: 1. I even brought him the timer and paper and pen, so he wouldnt have to get up. Its not that hard.. Luke decided it was his moment to shine. LOL, I love that Firefly episode! Judging from the two phone calls I had with Uncle B while she was in labor (one in which he was right by her side at the hospital and the other in which he was buying her a box of popsicles), Id say he didnt screw his job up nearly as bad as most of your husbands did. They were 1 minute apart, which was not what the books and classes told us we should be at this early on. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? DH managed to get to the hospital after his work in time to give me a quick kiss and be kicked out for delivery. I mean he would have just stayed home and played video games, if I had given him the impression that Ill be okay on my own. He took one too many wrong turns and we ended up in a dodgy end of town. Lets just say that he ended up spending the night in the hospital with me. He thinks he's being 110% supportive, and says he will, but just drinking when I could go into labor any day is NOT supporting IMO. I write about that struggle & stuff. This will enable you to stay focused and prevent you from giving in to temptation. We went anyway, and I was 5 cm dilated with double back labor. Raspberry leaf tea is supposed to help with uterine contractions, reported Pregnancy, Birth & Beyond, though there's some contradictory evidence as to whether or not it . Heres the thing. husband drunk when i went into labor. The love and support of your family can help you cope during this difficult time and give you the encouragement you need to get back on track. Okay I did not go through labor we adopted our son but the night they called to say the birthmom was in labor I was at church while my husband was at home. LOVED reading all of the stories I thought mine was rare Preterm labor can be risky for you and your baby. The biggest sign that the bloody show has occurred is you may notice a bloody mucus discharge from your vagina. Individuals with alcoholism may have a number of behavioral and emotional characteristics, including a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. omg, i totally broke out in huge loud laughter when i read this.in a silent room at that. . where do you file a complaint against a hospital; failure to pay full time and attention va code; bones angela and hodgins in jail; mirabella svadobny salon dubnica nad vahom I said we didnt have that kind of time that Id gone from 5cm-8cm in 35 minutes. lol. Children should be seen, and heard, and believed. Here are 12 Natural Ways to Induce Labor. You have had worse contractions then that! When the nurse came in he had to tell her the same. With our first child, he made me wait until the show Charlies Angels was done before leaving for the hospital. I don't know how or when you've approached him about this, but I think if you haven't you need to make sure it is on the weekend when he's had time to relax. , around 2% of adults globally have a drinking problem thats over one billion people! Lol! What does his choice of alchohol have to do with it? Also, he decided at some point that the contraction monitor was a better gauge of my pain than I was: Oh, that one wasnt so bad. I nearly ripped his head off. I think if he is unwilling to decrease the drinking NOW he is going to be unwilling to read anything you give him. Her husband waited nearby but outside the birthing room. First of all, I'm sorry you're going through this; especially at this point in your pregnancy. Some places test moms for COVID-19 at 36 to 38 weeks or before they undergo a C-section, while others don't test at all or do it when a case of the virus is suspected. One day shell remember to leave the meat out for tea but until then she writes beautiful and amusing posts on her blog which you can find here:http://bernmorley.blogspot.com/, i'm horrible at arguing. He was driving me to hospital in his Mustang Cobra, and we got caught in traffic over a bridge. Hubby was very excited and solicitous and kept asking how I was and what did I need. He arrived at the hospital with an emerald ring to give her..because after all, it was Mothers Day, and I was born in May. With our second things went pretty well. I would definitely tell him if he's buzzed he is not welcome in the delivery room because it will only cause you more distress while you're trying to bring your first child into this world. Im sure his parents saw far more than they ever hoped to see, and Ive never let him live it down. I have to admit, my husband is a trooper in regards to labor and delivery, absolutely wonderful. It scream youth and ignorance. It might have been when he was relaying the story about how tired he was and how the day seemed to drag on forever. **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Joanish, My husband grew up on a cattle ranch, and during labor with our first he very confidently announced to the nurse that he wasnt nervous at all because Ive seen this a million times with cows. pinterest.com. I was scared. Well when it was time for my epidural, my husband went home to take a quick shower and grab a bite to eat! Hiding bottles or drinking secretly so that family will not know what . Hopefully our midwife keeps him in line. What bugged me was that my husband didnt want to call into work so I was the one who had to meet the girl and her entire family (her, her boyfriend(not the dad), her mom, dad, grandma, step mom, step dad, sister and I think the family dog. During pregnancy, the cervix stays closed and plugged up with mucus (aptly called the "mucus plug"). And then I was really shocked when talking with an older lady at church who told me she went into labor naturally on Dec. 31, 1964, and the maternity ward was . We had to track him down when it was time for my epidural and after that he fell asleep. He then goes home and sleeps on and off for 10 hours (in between bouts of explosive diahrrea) while Im at the hospital with our first newborn daughter, ALONE. Out of all the natural ways to induce labor at home, nipple stimulation is one of the most reliable options. Home Depot arrived to install our oven shortly after my water broke we made it to the hospital 5 hours later, had a beautiful 17 hours of labor and he left cause he couldnt get any rest. My husband made the list! And yes, I actually fix my hair. Of course, I couldnt, so about 9 am, I started timing my contractions and they were getting to be about 5 mins apart. E had a little trouble at first and I needed stitches, so DH stayed with us until 2am before he ran home to let our dogs out to go to the bathroom and he never did tell me if he needed to clean anything up while he was there! I could barely walk for a week after the c section, my normal recovery time for that is two days. We were on our way to the hospital by 6:30am. Its never easy to be with an alcoholic husband, but these things can surely help. Third, I would look into more long term plans on how to unwind after a long day at work. OR MAYBE you've been putting it off for awhile and you're doing it because you know you need to stop procrastinating! For my last birth and for this one I have been an hour away from the hospital. OP is due very soon with her 4th child - her second with her husband - and he's rarely at home. The best way to cope with your stress and maintain a positive attitude is to stay focused on your goals and avoid situations that may trigger the urge to drink. She had yummy ice chips and broth. She told him and he freaked out, made himself puke (totally tmi) and then was a paranoid mess the whole drive to the hospital. This is not going to change after the baby is born, he has made that clear. To his credit, he sprung out of bed, I rang my best friend and she came to look after Maddie and Sam. We had time though E was scheduled to be induced and, although I didnt realize it, I was actually in labor the whole night before. Well, theyre in denial because they believe theyre not creating any problems due to overdrinking. This can help you deal with issues and challenges more easily and effectively. I'm so sorry that you are going through this, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. At 2am I finally was in some relief from my epidural and was hoping to MAYBE take a nap before go time. Then just before we were about to leave for the hospital, he looked at me and said, are you really going with your hair looking like that? . When I kicked it off and yelled at him to get whatever was touching me off, he responded with its just a magazine. The longer you hide your head in the sand the bigger the issue will get. This behavior will shorten his lifespan, increase his odds of developing certain types of cancers, raise his weight, sap his energy, and generally make things miserable. What will you do if you're away or home sick but the baby needs to go to the ER at night because there is something serious going on? Pleaseselect whether I bother you once a day or once a week. Only when you will make them realize that it is a problem and it puts you in an awkward position afterward. Yeah right. If men only knew how much pain and exhaustion really goes into labor. After 36 hours of labor and 40 minutes of pushing, my husband had to help the nurses suction our daughter out of me. Telling my sister that if we needed her, to call the house where he would be at and someone would give him a message, since he didnt think the baby would be born for quite a while. (Hopefully it won't have to go there but if the nice and logical angle doens't work you may have to come on a little strong) IMO. Epidurals are the pain relief of choice in the U.S. but that may be changing. For this pregnant mother, her escape was playing bingo. My MIL came by after her work at 3pm to bring me food, saw the mess of family and refused to leave till I was tucked into a room with the baby across the building from the birth family. Obviously if I am in labor I will not be driving myself but I am sure once we get closer to my EDD then he will slow it down. The heavy drinker, seemingly unaware of what is happening, become furious, resentful and enraged. When in labor, every woman becomes bitchy for the reason that she is in tremendous pain, moron! Have you ever discussed this with friends and inquired about how much their husbands drink? I went into labor at 10:30am Saturday morning and, this being my first child, I didnt know it. Even if they "handle their liquor well" they are drunk at that point. I guess I was just a little worn out from the AGONIZING LABOR AND DELIVERY OF YOUR CHILD THAT I JUST ENDURED YOU-F&!KING-MORON-WHO-DECIDED-TO-EAT-POPEYES!!. We got to the hospital at 7:30 and I was already pushy. How pregnant: 41 weeks, 2 days. husband drunk when i went into labor Home; FAQ; Foto; Contact Who knows..just having a baby may wake him up and realize that there are more important things to stay sober for. He had fallen back asleep. My husband got into an argument with a nurse and almost got himself kicked out of the hospital. TAKE A SHOWER NOW!!! No seriously, it was my due date. Woman Had Husband Murdered While She Was In Labor With His Best Friend's Baby. When I called him an hour later because I was 9 centimeters he said he was at Sams buying Tupperware. However, this may all change come December when I'm giving birth to our first child. . (this part was planned, hospital rule, only 2 in the delivery room besides the mom- so her mom and I attended) I was mentally exhausted by the time the baby was born at 6:44 pm.